What are we worth?  What are our lives worth?  Is there some number – 1-100?  And how would that number be calculated?  Is Einstein’s life or the Dhali Lama’s worth more?  What’s more important – the heart or the brain?  Hearing or sight?  A leg or an arm?  The truth is, we are all part of humanity – one human race.  Just as each organ or limb is part of one body.  Each of us has influence on one another.  Each of us plays an important part.  Every life impacts other lives.  To erase one life would be no small impact on the world.  We might not see it easily – but who were the people who impacted Einstein?  Whose influences molded him and led him to be at certain places at certain times?  To be able to connect with certain opportunities?  And if those people didn’t have the people who influenced them – how would that have shifted how they influenced him?  Make no mistake – we are a web.  Tangly and sticky, at times – but a web, nonetheless.  Today, I will value myself – not for the raw, measurable contribution I make in the world – but for how me just being me impacts others, who impact others.  Today I will remember that my worth is far too vast to calculate.

Is life perfect?  Certainly not.  Am I merely reveling in lavishness abounding?  Nope.  Am I without struggles and trials?  No way.  And… today I am grateful.  I am grateful for my husband who is playful, creative, and always growing.  I am grateful for my son, who looks at the world from a totally different box.  I am grateful for my daughter, who handles others with such care.  I am grateful for the amazing people that make my work so interesting and rewarding.  I am grateful to have walked along side another human as she passed from this life, as we know it.  I am grateful for my friends and family who encourage me, listen to my thoughts and contentions, and speak such kindnesses to me.  And I am grateful that my brain and body are allowing me to connect with feelings of gratefulness!  I hold onto them gently, knowing that they may pass.  There will be days ahead that I am not able to connect with gratefulness.  I don’t lament or reject those days – I know that they serve to deepen me and my experience, and to deepen my ability to appreciate gratefulness.  Today, I will enjoy these feelings.

We can tell when we are comparing ourselves to another person.  When we hear their story, we’ll either get a sense of judgment – “really, that’s all they did?  I could do it better than that” or a sense of shame and feeling small – “wow! I could never do that.  Look at how wonderful and amazing they seem.  I wonder why I’ve never been able to do something like that?  That could never happen for me.”  Comparing always leads to feeling one up or one down.  It doesn’t lead to a balanced appreciation for or recognition of who we are.  When we compare ourselves to others, we devalue our humanity and uniqueness.  No other person shares our exact set of personality, brain pathways, experiences, or life circumstances.  It is hurtful to ourselves and others to compare ourselves to them.  It takes us out of connection and into separation from others.  It robs us of our power, in this moment, to be creative and move toward what we want.  Today, I will refuse to compare myself to others.  I will notice their positive qualities with love and appreciation.  I will do the same for me.  I will notice the qualities about them, that are challenging for me, with compassion and grace.  I will do the same for me.

We are each a whole person.  We cannot express the fullness of who we are; while at the same time, denying a part of ourselves.  Sometimes, in life, we learn to hide parts of who we are.  We learn to put away thoughts, memories, hopes, and desires with the goal of making our lives less painful, scary, shameful, or guilty.  And that works for awhile.  For awhile we can pretend that something didn’t happen.  For awhile we can deny that trait in ourselves that causes us negative feelings.  For awhile we can go on skating around these treacherous places.  But then, one day, they catch up with us.  We notice that the dam gets leaky.  We notice sudden, intrusive thoughts or urges.  And we have to decide what to do with them.  Do we add a new layer in trying to stash them away?  Do we go to even greater lengths to shield ourselves and the world from them?  Or, do we decide that we are grown up now?  That we can face those things that felt overwhelming in the past?  That we can get the help we need in order to deal with and work through those things that kept us cut off from ourselves?  We are each a whole person.  We can pretend that we aren’t, but the pretending will only last so long.  Today, I will take steps to own and claim all of me.  And I will work to figure out what to do with those parts of me who were hidden or disowned.  I will gather them to me and start with simple, non-judging, acknowledgment.

Most of us have heard the metaphor about a caterpillar turning into a butterfly; and how we, as humans, as spiritual beings, etc… can transform or be transformed.  But I learned a little something more today about that process, that adds so much to the metaphor.  When a caterpillar is still developing in its egg (before it ever even becomes a fully developed caterpillar), it grows “imaginal discs” (groups of highly developed cells) – one for each of the body parts it will need to become an adult butterfly.  Later, when it digests itself in its cocoon, those imaginal discs do not get digested, but remain and fuel the process of the butterfly’s development and emergence.  This is exactly how we humans are.  As infants, we come into the world with “imaginal” discs, traits, characteristics, or whatever else you want to call them.  Those cells (parts of us) wait for the right circumstances, environment, and encouragement to turn us into moldable form.  Then these “imaginal” parts of us can do their jobs.  It is then that those traits can fuel our transformational process and be fully revealed and blossom.  I love that they are called “imaginal”.  I love that we can dream big.  That, in the course of our lives,  we can go from looking and feeling one way, to something completely different.  (I see it everyday.)  I love that life looks at us and imagines all whom we can be.  The research also tells us that, when we imagine something – a waterfall, ocean wave, etc.., the same neurons get activated that would do so if we were actually standing in front of a waterfall or ocean wave.  So, today I will take some time to dream my “imaginal” self.  I will envision myself in the biggest, most expansive way possible.  I will imagine myself as I am to become.  And I will be the butterfly.

Just finished a biography about Dr. Seuss, and this is a dedication to Theodore Seuss Geisel.  We all have a snuckle to cherish and share.  Some snuckles are brown, some orange, and some with flair.  “My snuckle belongs to me” we say.  And it does, it does! Enjoy it with much fun and with glee.  Your snuckle has color and texture and bounce.  Your snuckle is one that is not easily snuffed out.  Some folks will try to temper your snuckle.  They’ll cover and hide it and tell you it’s wrong.  They seem they don’t want your snuckle along.  But there is no one in the world with a snuckle like you.  Your snuckle is the one and only like you.  So whether your snuckle is big, red, or purple, or whether your snuckle is square with a nurple.  Don’t ever try to have someone else’s snuckle.  No, it’s not for you!  The world needs YOUR snuckle.  You have something to do.  Your snuckle is needed by all.  Your snuckle is a gift.  It is your call.  So love your snuckle and many will love it too.  And you’ll be doing your part of the snuckle  snugoo – that keeps all of us happy and dappy and loved.  It keeps us going, and marching in tune.  It keeps us marching all the way through gloomy lagoon.  I need your snuckle and you need mine.  We’ll share today.  And we’ll all be just fine!

This is about teachers, but not in the traditional sense of the word – someone who goes to college for four years and then gets a teaching credential.  This is about the teacher in all of us.  For we are all one another’s teachers.  We have something to learn from everyone with whom we come into contact, everyday.  Those around us teach us about ourselves.  When we react to something in someone else, that reminds us to notice ourselves.  What was it we didn’t like about that, and why?  Have we ever noticed that same trait in ourselves, and do we reject that trait in ourselves, or are we able to be still and notice ourselves without judgment.  Clearly people have differences and value different things.  And clearly we don’t all behave the same way.  So how could we learn from someone with whom we have very little in common?  The truth is; as humans, we have a lot in common.  We all want to be accepted.  We all want to know and feel love.  We all have a survival instinct.  We all want to feel some sense of predictability and control.  So what could we learn from the thief who burglarized my office last year?  Maybe that when humans are suffering; and feel helpless and powerless to ease that suffering or find another path, we build a wall toward others and aren’t able to empathize with the suffering we would cause the other person.  When we are treated poorly, it helps when we can notice our own suffering from that, accept it, imagine the suffering that the other person must be feeling or have endured, and notice what we can learn from it.  We can also learn from being treated well.  It makes us feel good and reminds us of the good in ourselves and others.  When someone takes the time to smile, hold a door, or give a compliment; we may feel valued.  And we can pass that feeling on to another.  Today, I will see all humans around me as my teachers, and I will open myself to my own learning and growing from every contact I have with another person.

Having a voice, and speaking up to share are very important parts of close relationships.  And it is also important for us to be realistic about the goal and possible outcomes of our doing those things.  We get in our minds to speak up “so that”…. “So that” he will change this, “so that” she will do that differently.  But the only “so that” guarantee we have is “so that” we will be better known, and that those parts of us who have felt devalued, ignored, or otherwise unworthy will be restored to a state of worthiness.   As children, we hoped it was our parent’s voice who affirmed our worth and value as people.  As adults, It is our own voice that affirms our worth and value as people.  We never have the guarantee that speaking up will get us what we want, but it does change us from the inside out.  It empowers us to advocate for ourselves.  It tells those small-feeling parts of us that it is ok to be who we are.  That we have a right to take up space on this earth.  And it allows those who are close to us to know the truth about who we are.  Yes – we risk being rejected.  We risk having people say they can’t love us for who we are.  That is livable.  Rejecting ourselves and refusing to love ourselves for who we are is not livable.  We can heal from rejection by another.  We cannot move on while actively rejecting ourselves.  Today I will tune in to my inner voice and practice speaking up “so that” I will value myself and “so that” people who are close to me will know who I am.

There are probably times when saying “goodbye” feels like an easy thing, but there are many times when it feels very difficult.  We get used to having someone there.  We get used to their mannerisms, their laughs, their fears, and the way they move through life.  They become comfortable and familiar.  We make a place in our heart and mind for them.  And when we say “goodbye”, what do we do with that place?  Do we leave it empty, try to fill it with something else, or try to pretend it doesn’t exist?  Or perhaps we could find a way to keep it full with our memories with them.  Perhaps we could reminisce about the times we danced together, laughed together, told jokes together, and cried together.  We can think about how they came into our lives at a time when we really needed them to be who they were for us.  Perhaps we could find new ways to connect with them – a text, a prayer, or an e-mail.  It won’t be the same, but those things can help.  We can also choose to send them, with a full heart, knowing that other people – new people, will come to need them in the same way that we have needed them.  Today, I will learn to say “goodbye” in a way that holds their memory and their place in my heart, while also letting go in a way that frees others to receive them.

I hope you are having a rich and satisfying day.  I just posted a guided meditation to the “other resources” page.  Please feel free to listen and, perhaps, to enjoy.  May you be enriched.