Having a voice, and speaking up to share are very important parts of close relationships. And it is also important for us to be realistic about the goal and possible outcomes of our doing those things. We get in our minds to speak up “so that”…. “So that” he will change this, “so that” she will do that differently. But the only “so that” guarantee we have is “so that” we will be better known, and that those parts of us who have felt devalued, ignored, or otherwise unworthy will be restored to a state of worthiness. As children, we hoped it was our parent’s voice who affirmed our worth and value as people. As adults, It is our own voice that affirms our worth and value as people. We never have the guarantee that speaking up will get us what we want, but it does change us from the inside out. It empowers us to advocate for ourselves. It tells those small-feeling parts of us that it is ok to be who we are. That we have a right to take up space on this earth. And it allows those who are close to us to know the truth about who we are. Yes – we risk being rejected. We risk having people say they can’t love us for who we are. That is livable. Rejecting ourselves and refusing to love ourselves for who we are is not livable. We can heal from rejection by another. We cannot move on while actively rejecting ourselves. Today I will tune in to my inner voice and practice speaking up “so that” I will value myself and “so that” people who are close to me will know who I am.