We can be so quick to say “I” when taking credit for something – “Look at what I _________”(fill in the blank). But none of us has ever accomplished anything without some form of care, support, encouragement, influence, opportunity, or feedback to get where we are. Each of us was, at one point, fed, clothed, and kept safe. Each of us has had someone help us along the way. Each of us has had some advantage we were born with. While we have had traumas and setbacks as well, those don’t negate the means by which we have arrived where we are. And others are a part of our journey. Today, we will be grateful for and acknowledge how the universe has used others to help us accomplish what we have today. Today we will say, “By the grace of love and with others’ help, I have ________”. Pride and humility are siblings that keep us balanced best when they are holding hands.
Please know that, today, the universe loves you and is conspiring for your greatest good. You may not be able to see that truth through the struggle right now, but hold onto hope and one day it will become clear how your struggle today will lead you to something very important. It will lead you toward greater satisfaction or healing or contentment or connection. All roads can and are intended to lead us, ultimately, toward healing. Today, open your hand and ask the universe to create and to show you the greatest good in this difficult place.
Why is it that joy and intense grief so often go together like mac & cheese? Maybe one thing they have in common is change. Joy often comes from change and so does grief. Change is a funny thing. We can’t live without it. From the day we are born we are changing. Right down to the cellular level. Red blood cells have a life of about four months. New things are constantly happening within us. And as much as we might like to remain stagnant at times, we cannot. Life brings twists and turns, bends in the road, and unexpected bumps to move us along. We can wonder what it would be like to live without change, but I’m not sure we can accurately imagine it – maybe like the movie “Groundhog Day”? Anyhow, change is always comin – like a freight train bearing down the tracks.
We are wired to recognize patterns and situations to avoid danger and to conserve energy. Change makes us use energy to learn a new pattern or situation. We are wired for memory. Change makes us consolidate new memories. So now we have to use our energy to see and do something different and we have to store and differentiate between the old and the new experience. And sometimes the difference is not even between what was, but what we imagined and what actually was or is.
So it is painful because it takes our energy and forces memory change. Why is it often accompanied by joy? New things can be exciting. New things can present options and choices. Newness can invite greater space for enjoyment, pleasure, and fulfillment in an area that had been lacking. As the old red blood cells die, new ones take their place. When we let go of an old paradigm, there is room for a more adaptive view to take its’ place – something that’s going to work better.
So, I think we just have to live with it. Joy and grief are inextricably linked. Most of the time we will have one with the other. If we can hold both and go back and forth flexibly and freely, then good for us! Enjoy the joy and grief that are part of life, my friends.
This is a great talk about making relationships work. Enjoy!
Recently I read “The Myth of Laziness” by Mel Levine, M.D. I appreciated a very important takeaway idea. Sometimes children or adults have a failure or breakdown in the systems that lead to meaningful output or productivity. We may then avoid trying to output or produce again. That avoidance then gets labeled, “lazy”. We may call ourselves lazy or others may identify us as such. Or maybe we have labeled someone else.
Today, perhaps we could practice generosity of spirit and granting the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps we could seek to identify exactly where the breakdown occurs for us or another person and refrain from the use of the label “lazy”. Hopefully we can see ourselves and others as deserving of grace and tools to help us develop our potential.
There is no guarantee that we will live to see tomorrow. Neither is there any guarantee that we won’t live to see tomorrow! So, may the activities, intentions, and experiences we choose today bring us joy, hope, peace, fun, and love right now. And; likewise, may those activities, intentions, and experiences support our having joy, hope, peace, fun, and love tomorrow.
This is one of my favorite quotes, and it is by Peter Levine in “Healing Trauma”:
“In short, trauma is about loss of connection – to ourselves, to our bodies, to our families, to others, and to the world around us.”
Today, may we be blessed with moving toward restoring connections.
Maybe all is as it should be right now. It is easy to get scared and think that we should have done something differently. It is easy to be scared and think that if only somebody else was different, then things would be right. From that place of thinking things should be different, it is easy to think what if’s. What if I had made that choice? What if I had done this? The possibilities for obsession and regret are endless. Will it help to obsess and regret over what isn’t or hasn’t been? Well, to think those thoughts a little is human. To dwell on them is destructive. What if we could imagine that all is as it should be? What if we could say to ourselves that we really don’t know what would have happened if different choices were made? We don’t know if things might have turned out for the worse. There may be some skill we have learned, some trait we have enhanced, or something we have achieved because things were exactly as they should be. Can we can let go of fear, obsession, and regret and start to move forward from right where we are today? I wonder what good things lay ahead for us when we can let go and trust that all is as it should be. All things are for a season or a time. Winter is for hibernation. Spring is for new growth. If we trust that all is as it should be, we can focus on what we can be learning or enjoying right now.
Today, we will trust that all is as it should be.
This is an excellent talk about important ways to share the planet together.
May each and every one of us be blessed with strength, patience, love, and peace today. May we lay aside useless striving for wealth or power. May we care for one another in a way that affirms humanity and creates connection. May we continue to learn and grow, as a society, toward maturity: that we recognize the destructiveness of “all for me and me against you”. May we grow to understand that care for each other carries a dividend for each of us. And in this way we will be truly powerful and wealthy.
These thoughts were inspired by Noam Chomsky’s “Requiem for the American Dream” on Netflix.