Trauma

This is one of my favorite quotes, and it is by Peter Levine in “Healing Trauma”:

“In short, trauma is about loss of connection – to ourselves, to our bodies, to our families, to others, and to the world around us.”

 

Today, may we be blessed with moving toward restoring connections.

All Is As It Should Be

Maybe all is as it should be right now.  It is easy to get scared and think that we should have done something differently.  It is easy to be scared and think that if only somebody else was different, then things would be right.  From that place of thinking things should be different, it is easy to think what if’s.  What if I had made that choice?  What if I had done this?  The possibilities for obsession and regret are endless.  Will it help to obsess and regret over what isn’t or hasn’t been?  Well, to think those thoughts a little is human.  To dwell on them is destructive.  What if we could imagine that all is as it should be?  What if we could say to ourselves that we really don’t know what would have happened if different choices were made?  We don’t know if things might have turned out for the worse.  There may be some skill we have learned, some trait we have enhanced, or something we have achieved because things were exactly as they should be.  Can we can let go of fear, obsession, and regret and start to move forward from right where we are today?  I wonder what good things lay ahead for us when we can let go and trust that all is as it should be.  All things are for a season or a time.  Winter is for hibernation.  Spring is for new growth.  If we trust that all is as it should be, we can focus on what we can be learning or enjoying right now.

Today, we will trust that all is as it should be.

The Bigger Picture

May each and every one of us be blessed with strength, patience, love, and peace today. May we lay aside useless striving for wealth or power.  May we care for one another in a way that affirms humanity and creates connection.  May we continue to learn and grow, as a society, toward maturity: that we recognize the destructiveness of “all for me and me against you”.  May we grow to understand that care for each other carries a dividend for each of us.  And in this way we will be truly powerful and wealthy.

These thoughts were inspired by Noam Chomsky’s “Requiem for the American Dream” on Netflix.

 

Free!

I have plenty of hardship and heartache.  I have plenty of doubt and unanswered questions.  I see plenty of injustice and plight, and I deeply care about all of that.  And yet I am free…  I am free because I refuse to be bound to any negative interpretation that involves my life or my past.  I am free because I choose to see every challenging, difficult, or grievous situation as an opportunity for growth, deepening, and learning.  I am free because; instead of bearing a grudge, I choose to take giant bolt cutters and cut the chain that binds me to the negative parts of the person or situation – sometimes again and again.  I am free because I choose love instead of hate.  I am free because I choose when, where, and how to give.  I am free because I choose to remain open to the good that can come along at any moment, even when I don’t see it coming.  I am not always happy, and yet it feels wonderful to know I am free!

I see God

People sometimes wonder aloud what it would be like to see the face of God. I think I have an idea of what that would be like. I think I see that when I sit across from people every day who hurt and struggle and are full of love and hope and gratitude. I think I see God in the faces of my vulnerable children. I see God in my friends faces when they tell me about something that is happening in their life – the triumph that comes from tragedy or when we laugh together in a funny moment. I see God when I am able to look at myself in the mirror and feel love instead of hate.  I see God when I have wronged someone and they forgive me.  I see God when there is a thick fog clinging to the foothills, just as the brilliant rays of light shoot up with the sunrise.  I see God when I use my last faithful breath to utter a desperate prayer and receive an answer just minutes or hours later.  Maybe it is prideful to say I think I know, but I really think I do, and it’s magnificent!

Just For Fun

I carry the shoes down the hallway

I drop one

I lean over to pick it up and kick the decoration resting by my foot

I fix the decoration

I grab the shoe and start to stand

The lace has planted itself under my foot

The shoe is ripped from my hand as I begin the ascent

Down I go again, grasping the shoe, lifting my foot at the same time

Finally, I rise – the victor

I have beat life once again, at it’s own game.

Inner Children

Food for thought:

I wonder what it would be like if we had a national “inner child” day, where we all went around with a picture of our young selves on our lapels?  We could all have the opportunity to observe the vulnerable, young selves that each other was.  And perhaps, to know that those young, more tender selves are still in there somewhere.  I wonder if we would treat each other differently on that day – perhaps more graciously, playfully, patiently…

Today, I will remember that my fellow humans are more than they appear.

“Core Projects”

In a witty Ted Talk, Dr. Brian Little explains how we are more than “just a bunch of traits.”  He shares how, when it comes to personality, we are often categorized along 5 main traits – openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism.  But not to worry, no matter where we fall along those traits, our “personal [or] core projects” say a lot more about who we are than those 5 traits:  for example, what things light us up, what we will fight for, what we care about, and what our personal struggles are.  Yay!  We are more than the sum of our traits!  Enjoy being you today.

Hold

Can I accept myself fully, all of who I am?  It’s a bit of a scary question.  When I dig deep, when I catch glimpses of those parts of myself from which I sometimes hide – can I really and truly draw in and embrace those parts of me?  Can I say that, no matter what, I won’t reject myself?  I won’t turn on myself.  I won’t leave myself lonely, out in the cold, and hurting without comfort?  I haven’t, all of my life, understood that kind of love.  The love I understood was far more conditional – I feel loved if I perform this way or look that way or say the right things.  In my young, underdeveloped brain that’s how I understood the world.  Over time and lots of healing, adapting, and creating flexibility, I have come to understand that I really can practice unconditional love with myself.  That no matter how someone else is frustrated with me, not understanding me, or even attacking me I can hold onto myself.  And when the voices of my own past, that reverberate inside me, seek to attack me – even then, I can hold onto myself.  I can love those parts of myself too.  It all comes from pain.  And if I hold on, and refuse to let go, I can heal the pain.  Today, I will practice awareness of the most ashamed and hurt parts of myself and I will hold them.