The Whole Enchilada

We are each a whole person.  We cannot express the fullness of who we are; while at the same time, denying a part of ourselves.  Sometimes, in life, we learn to hide parts of who we are.  We learn to put away thoughts, memories, hopes, and desires with the goal of making our lives less painful, scary, shameful, or guilty.  And that works for awhile.  For awhile we can pretend that something didn’t happen.  For awhile we can deny that trait in ourselves that causes us negative feelings.  For awhile we can go on skating around these treacherous places.  But then, one day, they catch up with us.  We notice that the dam gets leaky.  We notice sudden, intrusive thoughts or urges.  And we have to decide what to do with them.  Do we add a new layer in trying to stash them away?  Do we go to even greater lengths to shield ourselves and the world from them?  Or, do we decide that we are grown up now?  That we can face those things that felt overwhelming in the past?  That we can get the help we need in order to deal with and work through those things that kept us cut off from ourselves?  We are each a whole person.  We can pretend that we aren’t, but the pretending will only last so long.  Today, I will take steps to own and claim all of me.  And I will work to figure out what to do with those parts of me who were hidden or disowned.  I will gather them to me and start with simple, non-judging, acknowledgment.